I AM NIGERIAN

My childhood ran in streams and bush paths
When smells of iru pervaded the air
With firewood smoke, we appeased our hunger
From coal-black pots over slim wood stacks
And games and folksongs ruled our days
Under the silver moonlight’s gaze
Cheery we were, raised on the land
A happy child; young Nigerian

My teenage years, phases of change
The joys of parties and fast songs

IN LOVE AND WAR CHAPTER FIVE

Titi sighed. It was afternoon and they had hit several boutiques since they set out for shopping in the morning. They were in the famous city of Dubai, where they had just arrived two days ago. 
She evaluated all she had bought so far as they stood by the counter and Richard paid. This was the fourth boutique they were patronising, and all they had bought had been upscale and expensive. She didn't want to think about the price; how much their shopping was costing. Meanwhile, they were yet to buy the wedding dress itself. Weren't they supposed to be shopping just for the wedding? 
Titi gasped when she heard the cashier spell out the bill to Richard- fifty thousand dollars! She had never spent more than three thousand naira on an outfit by herself in her twenty-five years of existence. That was even when she'd had to wear a suit to present at a seminar while in school and she didn't have one, so she'd had to buy. She was used to economizing expenses. Her mother had successfully thought her how to stretch a hundred naira note till it begged for mercy.
Titi was cut off from her thoughts when Richard took her by the hand and told her they were leaving. Their bags had been packed into a waiting taxi outside and the driver sped off as soon as they got in. 

PURGED

How long shall i continue sitting cross legged
across the fence of insanity?
How long shall I continue sleeping
atop the bed of solitude?

8 Ways To Spice Up A Boring Relationship

What is the number one reason couples break up? Good question. The answer is debatable, for sure. Typically the most popular reasons often include infidelity, poor communication, or financial disagreements. In every study I’ve read, one of these culprits always holds the top spot. That said, I’d like to nominate another reason  –one that rarely tops the list but can be to blame. It’s one of the most dangerous things that can happen to a relationship. Boredom! Boredom is a threat to your relationship because it’s often the root of other issues.

If you recognize that your relationship could use a boost, what do you do? Here are eight ways to spice up a boring relationship and keep it hot in 2012!

1. Speak Their Love Language

This is an important step, but rarely executed. Dr. Gary Chapman’s book “Five Love Languages” really should be required reading for everyone interested in having a romantic relationship. The book describes the various love languages we all “speak.”

Knowing your partner’s love language is fundamental in a relationship because while you can love someone with every fiber in your body, unless you are conveying that love in a way they can understand it, they’ll never truly feel loved (and desired).

12 Most Loved Cities in Nigeria

Nigeria is a fascinating destination, blessed with amazing cities and towns. Most of these cities and towns are known across the country for their fascinating attractions, beautiful scenery, natural resources and cultural heritage.  Abuja, the capital city is one of the most loved cities in the country. There are other major cities in Nigeria which are very much loved and visited. Some are loved for their homeliness and hospitable demeanour, others are for their economic and business advantages; yet more are loved for their availability of fun, tourism and vacation spots.

We’ve scouted about, dug around and browsed the Internet for recommendations from Nigerians, and tourists, and we still came up with a definitive list of the most loved cities in Nigeria. Therefore, in no particular order, here are the most loved cities in Nigeria to visit:

1. Ibadan

It’s also called the ‘ancient city’ and it’s the state capital of Oyo. It’s described as the biggest city in the whole of West Africa. Located in the south-western part of Nigeria it is densely populated with so many industrial and commercial activities. This city has the first advance learning institution – the University of Ibadan (formally the university college Ibadan), also the first sky scrapper (Cocoa house) and the first teaching hospital in Africa. The city is made up of interwoven streets with local and international markets and malls. This city is known for tourism too, with a remarkable museum in the African study institution, botanical and Zoological garden in Agodi and in the University of Ibadan respectively, Mapo colonial city hall. Life in this town is beautiful with diversity of lifestyle and culture.

2. Abuja

Nigeria’s Federal capital, Abuja is currently one of the most developed cities in the country. Little wonder it is loved and experiencing alarming levels of immigration. Abuja is Nigeria’s seat of power and it is believed that in Abuja, life is good. Whether rich, middle class or poor, there somehow is a place for all. It is also considered a highly business destination. While in Abuja, experience a different kind of sightseeing that will make your visit memorable. Places like Jabi Lake, Silverbird Cinema and Millennium Park are really cool spots to unwind and have fun. For folks who love to shop, some of the big shopping stores in Abuja will give you value for your money.

3. Jos

‘J town’ as it is popularly called is one of the “cool” and most loved cities in the northern region of Nigeria. Aside from its recent crisis, the city is a lot of fun and people love it particularly for the weather and serene environment. The southern part of Jos is said to be peaceful and the people there are really accommodating. What’s more? The standard of living in Jos is very affordable. It also boasts a number of attractions including two museums, a wildlife park and game reserve, breathtaking waterfalls and striking hills and rocks. Jos is a beautiful town and is a really nice place to raise a family or live.

4. Calabar

Located in South-eastern Nigeria and watered by the Great Kwa and Calabar rivers, the city is home to a variety of attractions such as Obudu Cattle Ranch and Tinapa Resort. The city attracts visitors with its array of tasty delicacies, beautiful architecture and festivals. Every year, Calabar hosts Africa’s biggest street party known as the Calabar Carnival, where diverse colourful cultural costumes are displayed. There’s never a dull moment in this carnival. For indigenous vacation in Nigeria, Calabar is often the first location that comes to people’s mind. The city boasts of several other attractions including an integrated sports complex, a free trade zone and Port and an international air and sea port among many others.

5. Minna

Located in the west central part of Nigeria, Minna is a quiet and loveable commercial city. This beautiful town was a collection point for agricultural produce way back then. According to history, Minna was a labour camp for railway construction and this led to the gradual development of the town to now a major commercial city. The populace in this area are involved in all sorts of farming. This town is not densely populated and it has a blend of several cultures and life styles. Minna has some notable tourist sites to her name amongst which are the Gurara falls, Baro port (which was used in the colonial days for transport), The Wushishi Transway engine (First railway Locomotive engine and others like Kainji lake national park that is not so far from the city. Electricity is very constant because of the proximity of the Kainji Dam to the town. Food, accommodation, transport and general life style here is quite affordable. 

6. Enugu

Popularly known as ‘coal city’, a pseudonym that was given to Enugu due to its mining activities.. Located at the south-eastern part of Nigeria, it’s the state capital of Enugu. It’s described as one of the oldest urban areas within the region. Her populace are involved in agriculture, besides the mining of coal and other solid minerals. Enugu is loved by so many not just for ‘coal’ but for its notable tourist destinations like Nike Holiday Resort, Iva Valley (coal mine) and the famous Nmanwu Cultural Festival. The road network here is well designed with so many state of the art buildings (complexes and malls). In general, it is highly commercialised and life in Enugu is like living on a fast lane.

7. Port Harcourt

Port Harcourt is a coastal city with scenic shorelines. This city as described by tourist is a “centre of black jewel (oil)”. It is known as the Garden city because of its greenery and aesthetic parks within the metropolis. This city is the state capital of Rivers located in the south-south region of Nigeria. This town is known for its level of commerce as far back as 1912 due to the presence of the sea port (used for exports). This city is densely populated and full of industrial activities. It is home to so many multinational companies, most of which are affiliated to oil and gas. Port-Harcourt city is loved for numerous reasons but most for its wealth as a result of oil. She is home to many tourist sites such as Sea Ports, Isaac Boro Park, Monument of Jaja, Bony Island, Ifoko Beach, the oil refineries, the tourist beach etc. The standard of living here is high and this spans across food, shelter and clothing. The city is well known for its lively and dynamic nightlife.

8. Uyo

  Once adjudged the neatest city in Nigeria, Uyo is a cool, calm, classy and serene destination. Also in South-eastern Nigeria, it is the capital of Akwa Ibom, a major oil producing state in the country. The city is loved for its peace and serenity among other things. Although life in Uyo is quite expensive, people don’t mind because of the low crime and crisis rate. The inhabitants are predominantly farmers and traders. With the increased level of infrastructural growth and human development, Uyo is definitely a place to look out for. The Ibom connection and Le Meridien Ibom Hotel and Golf Resort, Ibom Tropicana Resort and other projects under construction are some of the soon to be bubbling spots in the area.

9. Kano

The city of Kano is the capital of Kano state in Northern Nigeria. The second largest city in Nigeria, Kano is the second major seat of the Hausas/Fulanis, the other being Sokoto. Kano is an ancient city and is the pride of most Northerners. The city boasts an international airport and a number of tourist attractions including Bagauda Lake/Tiga Lake Resort Man-made, Tourist Camp, Audu Bako Zoo, Gidan Makama Museum Monument/Museum and Kofar Mata Dyeing Pit among others. The major festival is the Durbar festival hosted by the Emir of Kano to mark and celebrate the two annual Muslim festivals Eid-ul-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. The majority of the populace are farmers which is no surprise since Kano is considered the most extensively irrigated with over 3 million hectares of land suitable for cultivation.

10. Warri

It’s one of the biggest cities In Delta state. Located on the Lower Niger/Delta coast line. Its not the state capital but it’s more popular and has a lot of history compared to Asaba the capital. Its an old town known for oil production and the presence of the traditional kingdom Warri, dated back as far as the 15th and 16th century. Its a port town that has a lot of industrial activities (oil and steel). People from this notable town are called wafarians, known for business and tourism. The presence of oil has a ripple effect on its commerce. Tourism here is huge as tourist are exposed to attractions like the palace of the Olu of Warri, Nama palace, Koko Red Mangrove Swamp, Effurun Garden Park, beaches and resorts.

11. Lagos

It’s the most populous city in according to population census. It is also known as the economic capital of Nigeria. This mega city is separated by water bodies into two main parts (Island and Mainland). It is located in the south-western part of Nigeria. Lagos is known for commerce, filled with industries from all economic sectors. The road network is next to none and it boasts of a good number of tall buildings and sky scrappers. The nightlife in this city is as busy as the day, painted with a lot malls, clubs, restaurants and bars. Visitors will always have a first class experience in terms of buying and selling. Lagos has local and international markets of all kind. The coastline makes Lagos a ravishing beauty!

12. Ilorin

Ilorin is a very interesting city. It’s a city that has not really being in the lime light but is surprisingly one of the largest cities in Nigeria. The capital of Kwara, Ilorin is located in the North Central region of the country. As quiet as Ilorin seems, it has an international cargo airport, a 20,000 capacity stadium and the only standard base ball Court in West Africa. Ilorin is also home to several prominent “learned” men and women as the legal profession is really strong there. Ilorin is blessed with several natural resources and the standard of living is affordable. Pottery and traditional textile industry among others are thriving businesses there also. Tourist attractions in the area include the Esie museum and the stately Sobi Hill; and that is why it is one of the most loved cities in Nigeria. 

Travelstart.com

7 Rules That Married Couples Can't Ignore

The world is changing. And so are people. They create rules to break them later on. Is it bad or good? We do not know for sure.

That’s just the way it is and there isn’t much we can do to change the situation. There are a lot of countries where following traditions is one of the most important things, while other cultures are not too strict about their customs and are more open-minded. In the list below you can find 7 principles that are found old-fashioned by modern married couples. 

1. Keep things exciting...
Married people know how important it is to refresh relationship now and then. Being intriguing in your partner’s eyes is essential if you want your marriage last long. There is no need to invent new things every single day. But making your life more exciting by trying out something new is wise. We cannot avoid routine but it’s up to us to make it less boring and tiresome. 

2. Fights lead to divorce 
Different issues may arise. What happens next? People argue and fight. This in turn might lead to divorce. But is it really the only way to live? There is not a single problem that cannot be resolved if it is dealt with by 2 intelligent people. Divorce is not an option. Just try and talk with your spouse, offer your solution and learn to be a good listener. We tend to speak too much and listen too little. 

3. Vacation together
Spending vacation in different places is a very healthy thing to do. No matter how much you love each other both of you need a break. A weekend away from your spouse is not a betrayal. You are just taking some time out. It is quite natural that each of us should have their own private time and space. Usually couples who practice this say that after separate vacation their relationships get even better. 

4. Mutual hobbies
Being interested in the same things and having the same hobbies is cool yet not a must. Your areas of interests may vary. It’s even more exciting because you can always find out something more about your partner or show your inner self from a different angle. If you feel that your spouse does not want to be involved in your hobby, do not force it on them. 

5. Don’t go to bed angry
Stay positive and do all possible to go to bed with constructive thinking. Destructive mind affects your own health and ruins relationship with your spouse. In the evening stress tends to accumulate, but there are plenty of ways how to reduce tension. Listen to calm music, read a book, or just watch a comedy. 

6. Always sleep together
Sleeping in separate beds or even rooms is not a big deal. This does not mean that the partners do not love each other any longer. There are quite a few reasons why people might want to sleep separately. There are advantages in it as well – there is no one snoring or moving in the same bed with you, which means you can have much better sleep. 

7. The honesty vow 
Honesty is the best policy. This is the rule to follow when we are talking about something substantial. White lies are sometimes healthy. Let us not be too serious about small things that do not influence anything significant. For example, why not be tolerant and let him wear his favorite tie that you find ugly? Do not keep telling him how terrible it looks on him even if that’s true. However, avoid lying if the case is really serious. 

wmnlife.com

10 Reasons To Get Married

Being married is nowadays considered to be old-fashioned. Young people find matrimony conservative and prefer to stay officially unattached. Countries with traditional views still believe that family is something essential in every person’s life.

There are advantages and disadvantages in being married. Apart from weight gain and argument, there are positive aspects. If the union is happy, what the couple may experience is financial benefits, support, and good health. Sociologists have proved that those who prefer to get married to their partner are happier in their relationship than those who stay unmarried. More than that, kids who are born to married parents are much happier and psychologically healthier. See if you agree with the following 10 opinions regarding marriage.

1. Longer Life
It has been estimated that the number of people who die is twice as high among unmarried couples. Married people take better care of each other, support their partners and provide help if needed. People who feel responsible for their spouse and kids feel the need to take care of themselves. They understand that there is someone who needs them. Advice: If you want to live longer, get married. Do not make a mistake though by marrying someone who is not your true soul mate! 

2. Looking After Yourself

Statistic data show that married females and males are healthier. Some married people feel so responsible for their beloved that they start taking better care of themselves, they quit bad habits which leads to a longer life. It is devastating and destructive to live in a relationship where people misunderstand and mistreat each other. In this case life can only be shorter and health much worse. So, the point here is not just to get married for the sake of marriage but to be happily married, enjoy your married life, love your partner and be loved back. 

3. Lower Risk Of Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Married people have a regular and stable sex life. They do not need to constantly look for a sexual partner. This lowers the risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases. We are now talking about couples in which both partners love each other and stay loyal and faithful to each other. People who disrespect their spouses and cheat on them stay at a higher risk of STDs. 

4. Better Health
For women there are health benefits in being married. Good sex life proved a complete feeling of satisfaction and happiness. This influences mood and as we know, mental health is not less important than physical health. Research has proved that single people suffer from mood swings and even depression more often. 

5. Health Issues Solved
Not only ladies experience health benefits. Married men are also healthier both mentally and emotionally when they are married. They are taken care of, feel loved and needed. It’s good for men’s cardiovascular system. They are less prone to strokes, heart attacks and other diseases.

6. Better Financial Situation
It is obvious that a couple spends more money than a single person. But the thing is that a couple makes better money and they can afford to buy more. Married men realize that they are providers for their wives and kids and start earning better money while single men can live on a lower salary since they are not motivated to work and earn more. 

7. Beating Bad Habits
Studies show that married people get rid of their bad habits much easier because their sense of responsibility for their family won’t let them drink or use drugs. Some quit smoking when they are motivated by their spouse and children. If you are single, then fighting your addiction on your own becomes far more difficult. 

8. Easier To Take Care Of Kids
When you are not alone it is always easier, especially if we are talking about growing up children. Parents who share their responsibility for their children serve a better example. Their kids learn what a real family relationship is which will make them happier personalities in their future family life. 

9. Fulfilling Life
Since a couple earns better money it means that they can improve their living condition and buy a better house or apartment in a nice location. They can also afford travelling, better food and education for their children. 

10. Lifelong Companionship
Being committed to someone is great. It’s rewarding to have a person who cherishes and protects you. These are eternal virtues. They have always been highly appreciated by people. All of us dream that some day we meet someone special with whom we will spend the rest of our lives. 

wmnlife.com

10 Keys To A Successful Romantic Relationship

In romantic relationships, as with so much else, it’s the little things that count. Just as a mis-spoken word or odd look can throw a couple into a weeks-long feud, small and seemingly insignificant gestures can help keep a relationship on track. A little gift, an off-hand compliment, a moment of physical contact can vastly strengthen a relationship.

According to psychologists Nathaniel Branden and Robert Sternberg, who have both researched and written about the challenges of romantic relationships, these little displays of interest and affection can be more important than all the “active listening” and trust games in the world. Their research has suggested 10 keys to keeping both partners content, satisfied, and happy with each other.

1. Tell your partner you love them.

Although it’s true that actions speak louder than words, words often speak more clearly than actions. Take a moment every now and then to verbalize your feelings for your partner. A simple “I love you” or “You mean the world to me” can go a long way towards making your significant other feel wanted, cared for, and secure in your relationship.

2. Show some affection.

Small acts of physical intimacy – the hand on the small of the back as you brush by in the hallway, your arm around their shoulder on the sofa, your hand on their thigh when seated side-by-side, holding hands while walking down the street – give your partner a warm feeling and convey the love and affection you feel for them. The littlest touch can be as important, or even more important, than the longest night of sexual intimacy.

3. Show appreciation for your partner.

Let your partner know on a regular basis what it is that you like most about them – what you admire, what makes you proud, what their strengths are in your eyes. Building a romantic relationship isn’t jsut about the initial bonding – it’s about encouraging and supporting each other’s growth over the course of your lives. Help your partner achieve his or her potential by constantly building them up.

4. Share yourself.

Don’t keep your likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, achievements and mistakes, or anything else to yourself. If it’s important to you, share it with your partner. More than that, be sure to share more with your partner than you do with anyone else. While there is certainly a need for some personal space in even the closest relationship, give as much of yourself and your time as you can bear to your partner.

5. Be there for your partner.

It’s obvious what you need to do when your partner faces a major life challenge like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. But it’s just as important to be supportive when your partner faces life’s little challenges, too – an argument at work, a rough commute, a misplaced check. Don’t let yourself be a doormat, and definitely don’t stand for physical or verbal abuse, but thicken your skin a little and be the voice of calm and reason when chaos strikes. Listen to what’s bothering them and offer whatever help – even if it’s just sympathy – you can.

6. Give gifts.

Take advantages of opportunities to give material tokens of your love. Just the right book picked up at the bookstore, a special dessert, a piece of jewelry or clothing you noticed at the store – anything small or large that tells them you were thinking of them. Leave a love note for them, or send them an SMS at work to “I love you” – again, the little reminder that they’re always on your mind will help your partner feel better about themselves and secure in your relationship.

7. Respond gracefully to your partner’s demands and shortcomings.

A big killer of relationships is unreasonable expectations. Unless you married a robot, your partner comes pre-loaded with a whole range of human failures and foibles. These are features, not bugs! Learn to recognize and appreciate your partner’s quirks for what they are: an essential part of who they are as people. Since our weaknesses are often at the core of our deepest insecurities, make sure you don’t pick on or otherwise go out of your way to highlight your partner’s flaws.

8. Make “alone time” a priority.

No matter how busy both of your lives are, make sure you commit at least an evening every week or two to be alone together. Have new experiences, share your stories, and just generally enjoy each other’s company.

9. Take nothing for granted.

Cultivate a daily sense of gratitude for your partner and the thousands of little blessings he or she has brought into your life. Remember that, if you’re happy in your relationship, your partner is doing a thousand little things for you every day to make your relationship work (as, hopefully, you are for them). Never take that for granted – a relationship is work of the highest order, and the second you stop it starts to slide away.

10. Strive for equality.

Make sure you follow the Golden Rule in your relationship: do unto your partner as you would have done unto you. Strive for a fair division of household duties and other tasks, and don’t expect or demand special considerations you’d be unwilling to offer in return. 

by Dustin Wax 

From wnmlife.com 

10 Obvious Reasons Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Is You Best Friend

#1 You Can't Wait To Play Video Games Together
You love a lot of the same hobbies.

#2 You Order For Each Other
You know each other so well, you order for each other.

#3 You Call Each Other First With News
They are the first person you call with good news, bad news, or anything interesting.

#4 You Go To Each Other For Advice
If you ever need sound advice, they are the one you go to.

#5 You Finish Each Other's Sentences
You finish each other sentences before the other even finishes.

#6 You Know What Each Other Is Thinking
You can read each others minds just by looking at each other.

#7 You Have Tons Of Inside Jokes
You have your own inside jokes that can crack you up at any time anywhere.

#8 You Have A Secret Handshake
You made up a secret handshake and aren't embarrassed to do it in front of anyone.

#9 You'd Rather Spend Time Together Than With Your Friends
You have the most fun together, more than with anyone else.

#10 You Tell Each Other Everything
He's your best friend and you love to share everything together, even gossip.

Source: funkypost.com
Photo: google.com and bing.com

Ibeji

Joy of motherhood entwined 
Pairs of warriors even before their arrival
Twenty tiny fingers set for a tug of war
Kicking umbilical cords and sort 
They cuddle close together 
Fighting for space and love
But upon hearing the pregnant sound of food and breath 
They settle their differences and dance around their hemispheres 
Ibeji — Identical but one of a kind glorious fruits waiting for harvest time! 

-Olumide

Talking Drum

They will neither mind the vanquished leather; stringed, stretched,
and strapped to the heart of time. . .

Nor the bended knees of my father, as he hit her with his stick and
squeezed her spines. . .

They will neither mind the parables echoed, stories told and eulogies
rendered. . .

Nor the high pitched note rapping their ear drums, as he pluck her
veins and gyrate to his special numbers. . .

They will neither mind the king's presence; the noise of the elders
and the victorious hunters that have rented the air.

Nor the birds that have picked up the chorus
Of a battle well fought and plenitude of spoils harvested

They'll just dance to wanton abandonment
Circling the village; hither and thither
As he pull tighter and tighter
Rendering beautiful vibrations spiraling —
Cleansing mortal souls,
the bloody hands of the hunters,
and the bones of our idols. . . 

Olumide Fayomi

Olumide Fayomi's Week (20/10/2014)

Olumide Fayomi is a writer, a rapper, a lyricist, a poet and a veteran online textee/battler.

This week, on Temitope Oke's Blog is appreciation's week and the blog is celebrating one of the blog's regular contributor who debuted with his african deep-rooted style of poetry that earned him the title ''Africanist Poet''. He had blessed the blog with ''The African Metallic Snake'', ''My Pen''(his debut poem), ''Pangolo ti Pangolo'', ''Ta'mo Tiye'' among others.

THE AFRICAN METALLIC SNAKE is one among his poems on the blog and proven to be the most read.

All his poems on the blog attracted readers worldwide. Thus, the blog is appreciating him for his contributions so far and more to come from him.

Check out ''Talking Drum'' as we celebrate him on the blog this week.
http://temitopeoke.blogspot.com/2014/10/talking-drum.html

He is a successful poets and always perform miracles with the pen. He is a team player, this can be seen in his collaborative effort with fellow blog contributor and partner in poetical justice.



Check out our contributor's photo...

He's got dimples!

Have got sunshine on my whitey teeth...

Look at me, NOW!!!!

You know the deal...

Okay!!!! That's All

Thank You!!!