After Nike left, Titi sat brooding over her predicament. She couldn't bring herself to come to terms with her son's demise, as the incident that brought Sam into her life kept playing in her head.
Her father, Mr. Kola Olakunle was a renowned intellect in the architecture profession. He was also a loving father and husband. The family was not a very rich one, but they lived very comfortable and happy.
The Olakunle family of four had been asleep that Friday night but were woken by aggressive bangs on the gate from outside. Within seconds, a gang of robbers had invaded their house. They took many valuables along with cash and important documents.
After ransacking the house, they led the family into the living room and made them lie facing the ground.
'Wetin you dey talk?' the fierce-faced thug who appeared to be their leader, raved furiously.
'Please spare him, Please...' Titi cried, still facing the ground as her mother who had been shivering beside her, gave her a keep-quiet tap.
'So you get eyes to see say I wan blow your Papa brain? I no tell you to face ground, you dey peep me, abi no be so?' the robber growled.
'I...I'm so sorry...please...just don't kill him, please...' she quavered as she buried her face into the rug.
Just then, one of the other members of the gang whispered something into their leader's ear.
'Hmmm,' the leader gave a wicked smiled. Na true you talk o Sergeant. The girl go sweet die. Abeg hold this for me make I taste am small.'
With this, he handed his pistol to the other man he had addressed as 'Sergeant' and in a heartbeat, he dragged Titi to a corner and tore her nightwear off.
'Please don't touch her...please leave her, take anything you need, take our lives instead!' her parents pleaded simultaneously but it only seemed they were not even present at all.
'Please let me go, I beg you! Don't ruin me! I'll be damned for life! Please have mercy on me...' her voice trailed off into agonized screams as the hefty man preyed on her like an hungry lion while her parents and younger brother wept in muffled tones with the other two other men holding pistols to the their heads as they witnessed their daughter being raped.
A while later, the predator eased himself up and fastened his belt as Titi lay motionless on the ground. She felt like her world had just been sent crumbling down.
'You are going to rot in hell!' her father stood to challenge them, but he was sent coursing down as echoes of multiple gunshots ricocheted into the air and the robbers hurried out of the house.
Titi was dazed as she managed to drag herself up. It all happened too suddenly. She couldn't envisage being raped and losing her father on the same day, it was too much to take in. Her mother and Tosin screamed and cried for help. Titi on her part could neither find her voice nor move, she just blacked out and that was the last thing she knew at the moment.
Titi wiped her tears with the hem of her gown as she further recalled how she had found it hard to put herself together when she started having symptoms of pregnancy. As at the time the incident happened, her entire family, especially her mother, had been too distraught by her father’s death to think of having Titi get medical attention immediately after the incident.
Titi had been beside herself with hatred and frustration. Hatred; that she didn't even know the father of the child she was carrying, who was definitely so; a thief, robber and rapist for all she cared, and frustration; because she was just seventeen, was just through with her secondary education and was seeking admission into higher institution. She wasn't ready or willing to be a mother, not just then, by a robber, murderer and rapist.
She had tried once to get rid of the pregnancy. That day, she had purposely taken a certain drug not recommended for an expectant mother, but contrary to what she had planned, the repercussion took its toll on her instead. While doing some minor house chores later that day, she suddenly fainted. At the hospital, the doctor revealed that the drug she took was too strong for someone in her condition and thus had weakened her, but the baby was doing just fine.
This further disheartened Titi. She didn't want the baby to do just fine, or even fine at all. She wanted it gone!
'Abortion is a sin Titilayomi,' her mother had told her after she was discharged from the hospital. 'It is murder, and you know that well enough. It might rid you of the child truly, but might also rid you of your life, your future...'
'What do I have left of my future?' Titi had cried. 'Everything is lost, gone! I can no longer achieve my dreams, I don't even think I have one anymore. This child has taken everything away from me.' She cried harder.
'So you think getting rid of it will bring everything back, isn't it? No, it won’t Titilayo. If anything ever comes back, it will all be a sham. Because abortion doesn't make you 'not-pregnant', it makes you the mother of a dead child, murdered by its own mother. Is that how you want it to be, do you want to be a murderer too?'
Titi shook her head as she sniffed.
'Then you have to keep this child.'
'No, mother, I don't think so. Supposing I have this child, supposing the child starts asking questions about his or her paternity, supposing...'
'Then you should stop supposing.' her mother cut her off. 'For now let the innocent child live, Titi.'
'But the father is not innocent! He is a thief! A murderer! A rapist! He killed my father right before my eyes! Only God knows how many people he has killed! Is that what I'm going to tell my child? Oh God!' she wailed.
'That's just all you should have at the back of your mind; it is you child and that is all that counts. Stop tormenting yourself over what or who the father is, focus on who you are and what you want to become. Concentrate on how you can still achieve your dreams, which I strongly believe you surely can, and be the best for your child.' Her mother had told her.
Titi simply stared into space but slightly nodded in acknowledgement of what her mother had said after a while.
Wumi Olakunle took her daughter's hand as she wiped a teardrop from her own face too with the hem of her wrapper.
'We have all lost something Titilayo. I have lost my husband, the love of my life too. I have also lost my happiness, my home. Look at what we are reduced to.' Her mother expressed with a gesture to their environment.
Titi breathed deeply. She had been so engulfed in her own woes that she had been nearly unmindful of her family's current situation.
After her father's death, his family members who had initially raised brows about his marriage to Wumi, had thrown them out of the house and rid them of every bit of Kola's possessions.
Kola Olakunle had been born into a wealthy family, and with the proverbial silver spoon, while his wife's background was the other way round. This made his relatives object to their getting married but Kola had stood his ground against all odds. His parents had later consented to their marriage but their relationship with their daughter-in-law remained cold. Moreover, as a way of punishing him, his father who died shortly after their wedding had willed all his assets and property to Kola’s brothers, leaving him nothing. Nevertheless, this did not bother him or hinder his zest for success. He still made it to a commendable height up the success ladder with the help of his wife, Wumi.
It took Kola’s relatives no time at all to throw Wumi and her children out of the house after his demise, and unfortunately, he had not written a will. Wumi had to gather all her savings together to rent the two bedroom apartment that they had now moved into and start a petty trade. Since her husband's demise three months earlier, they had lived from hand to mouth. It was a sudden and negative turnaround for her and her children, a situation they had no choice but to adapt to.
Wumi had just given her daughter reasons to put herself together and move on, not only for herself, but also for the family. She was their only hope then, as her brother, Tosin was still very young and in secondary school. That was when she later agreed to move on and thus, her attending nursing school. She had dreamt of becoming a medical doctor, but at least, half bread is better than none.
After Titi put to bed, she realised that she hadn't lost afterall when she started bonding with her son. Sam gave her so much joy that she totally forgot how he came to be in the first place. He was so bright and full of life that anyone that came in contact with him would instantly love him.
Now, he was no more.
To her, her selfishness had cost her her son's life. If it hadn't been for her fear of losing Richard that overwhelmed her, Sam might still be alive.
*********************************************************
Titi was awakened from her sleep by a soft rap on her door. She dragged herself out of bed as she strode lazily to the door, glancing at the wall clock. It was already 7pm. She gaped as her eyes fluttered in disbelief. She didn't really take note of the exact time she fell asleep, but instinct told her it had been early in the afternoon. Titi realised she hadn't slept that long in weeks and she shook her head in self-pity. Sleep had mostly eluded her ever since she lost her boy.
'Richard?' She said in a questioning but rather surprised tone when she opened the door and beheld him. She hadn't expected to see him as he had told her he would be leaving for Canada the previous day. Besides, she wasn't ready to see him, or betterstill, not willing to face him.
'Aren't you happy to see me?' he asked after seconds of silence.
Titi hadn't realized she was still standing in the entrance and had kept staring at him.
'Oh, I'm so sorry,' she said, reluctance clogging her voice as she let him in and shut the door behind her.
'Did you just wake up?' Richard asked rather rhetorically as he took his seat on one of the two plastic chairs positioned adjacent to the headpost of her bed. Then he added, 'I postponed my trip till next week; that is why I'm still around.'
That answered Titi's unspoken question, but she didn't speak. She simply nodded in understanding. Richard had expected her to ask why, but Titi said nothing still. Disappointment glared in Richard's eyes, though not as intense as it had been for four weeks now. His betrothed could not even give him a welcome-I-miss-you hug, despite the fact that they hadn't seen for days now. Titi had totally withdrawn into her shell for God-knows-what, and it further fuelled his fear that he had done something really bad to hurt her, that he was the reason for her sudden change.
He stared at her with long-suffering as she walked slowly past him over to her bedside. He remembered how they had met months ago and how she had captivated him. Though lonesomeness was telling on her and had changed her looks, that charm still glowed in her eyes. Richard smiled to himself. He had come to realise that Titi, unlike other ladies he knew, was quite indifferent to her own beauty. She simply took it simple. He watched as she carefully positioned herself on the edge of her bed as if it would collapse if care was not taken.
'Tee,' Richard spoke up after five minutes of silence, 'we really need to talk. I was too disturbed, I just couldn't make that trip, I had to postpone it. Please Honey, if I have done something to hurt you, please forgive me for God's sake.'
'We don't have to talk about anything, Richard. I'm fine, and you didn't do anything wrong' was Titi's response as she buried her face in her palms and the tears came coursing down again.
Richard's eyes turned crimson. As much as he’d hate to see his woman cry, he couldn't console her because he was hurt himself. Was his offence that big that Titi couldn't say but simply chose to grieve over it? She had been like that for weeks now and had been avoiding him. She would respond coldly whenever she heard his voice on phone or set her eyes on him. How much longer would he have to live with it, now that their wedding would come up in less than two months?
It would have been fairer on him if she had just flared up and tore down the sky on him to express the gravity of his offense. He didn't understand her. He couldn't even read her anymore. Things just got worse each passing day.
He stood up slowly and made for the door. He had opened it halfway but on second thought, turned to face Titi.
'I'm leaving, good night', he told her, a remorseful timbre in his voice.
Titi neither answered nor raised her head, and Richard, after he had waited hopefully for a response and got none, shut the door and retreated into the night.
