Titi sighed. It was afternoon and they had hit several boutiques since they set out for shopping in the morning. They were in the famous city of Dubai, where they had just arrived two days ago.
She evaluated all she had bought so far as they stood by the counter and Richard paid. This was the fourth boutique they were patronising, and all they had bought had been upscale and expensive. She didn't want to think about the price; how much their shopping was costing. Meanwhile, they were yet to buy the wedding dress itself. Weren't they supposed to be shopping just for the wedding?
Titi gasped when she heard the cashier spell out the bill to Richard- fifty thousand dollars! She had never spent more than three thousand naira on an outfit by herself in her twenty-five years of existence. That was even when she'd had to wear a suit to present at a seminar while in school and she didn't have one, so she'd had to buy. She was used to economizing expenses. Her mother had successfully thought her how to stretch a hundred naira note till it begged for mercy.
Titi was cut off from her thoughts when Richard took her by the hand and told her they were leaving. Their bags had been packed into a waiting taxi outside and the driver sped off as soon as they got in.
'I can't believed this is really happening', Titi mused, smiling to herself as she settled on the bed in the hotel where they lodged and kicked off her shoes.
'How do you mean dear?' Richard asked, walking into the room as he loosened the top button of his shirt.
Titi had been oblivious of the fact that she had been thinking aloud. She smiled at the realization.
'You know, all this...it's too good to be true', She said as she sat up to look at him.
Richard touched her chin and held her face to look into her eyes. 'You my love, are too good and true.'
'And so are you,' she smiled.
Richard released his hold on her chin and stared at her with passion in his eyes. 'You know, your eyes, your smiles, everything about you tempts me. But I'm not going to give in. Our wedding in only two and a half months away, it's worth the wait.'
'Yes', Titi smiled and nodded understandingly. 'We should wait'.
'Yes love. I'm going to my room, call me if you need anything', he said, gesturing towards the connecting door between their rooms. They had rented a double-suite with a door adjoining the two rooms.
Richard was about to turn around and leave when Titi's phone rang. He decided to give her some privacy and leave anyway, but was taken aback when she exclaimed 'Oh my God!'. Her countenance changed and she appeared troubled all of a sudden.
'What happened?' Richard inquired with a concerned look when the call ended.
Titi shook her head, too scandalized to speak.
'Titilayo', he said sitting beside her and taking her hand. 'Please tell me, what is going on?'
She was about to tell him all was well, but knew he wouldn't hear of it, so she changed her mind and decided to talk.
'You remember Sam?'.
'Sam? Who is Sam?' he asked, trying to remember.
'The little boy you met at our house the other day you came visiting.' She reminded him.
Richard had visited their house twice after that day, but had never seen Sam again, so he had even forgotten the boy.
'Oh, Sam', Richard said as he remembered instantly. 'My little friend. What happened to him?'
Sam was rushed to the hospital few minutes ago and Titi's mother had called to inform her. The boy was diagnosed to have typhoid fever; a very severe one. Titi was devastated. How could this be happening now, when she was miles away from home?
'Don't worry, he'll be fine', Richard consoled when she told him.
'Yes, I pray so. I just wish I was around to be there for him', she lamented.
'Come on Tee, you don't have to blame yourself for that. Sam is going to be fine. I know you love kids, you love him, but there is only little you can do for the boy from over here. He will be given proper care at the hospital, and will be well soon. You can only pray for him and call to check on him from time to time. That will help.'
Titi nodded in agreement and forced a smile as Richard pulled her into his arms for comfort. But she knew it wasn't just that. Had it been she had told Richard the truth about Sam, he would have made them take the next available flight down to Nigeria immediately without thinking twice.
Guilt haunted her.
Her son needed her back home. She'd heard him writhing in pain in the background, calling out to mommy, and here mommy was; trapped in her love nest with her Romeo.
What will be her excuse for having to leave for Nigeria? Afterall, Sam was only a neighbour's son that was fond of her own mother, according to what she had told her fiance. How she wished she hadn't lied right from the start, moreover, she should have told Richard the truth when her mother advised her to.
'He will be well soon, just keep calm, OK?' Richard added as he released her from his embrace and rose to his feet. 'I need to change, I'll be back soon. With this, he pecked her on the cheek and left for the other room where he lodged.
As soon as he left, Titi buried her face in her palms and wept profusely as her mother's words slammed into her memory; 'you will have to keep telling him lies, and bigger lies to cover up the latter, till he finds out the truth'.
And she was right. Now Richard had not even found out the truth yet, and nemesis was already catching up with her.
Richard soon re-entered and was surprised to find her still sober. She had only succeeded in wiping off her tears with the back of her hands when she'd heard his footsteps approach. He stood by the door for a while and stared at her.
'Titilayo, I can't believe you are still where I left you.' he said, evidently disappointed. He knew she loved children, but he couldn't figure out why she took the little boy's ailment so personally despite the fact that he was already being given medical attention.
'I'm sorry, I just cant help it'. Titi wiped her face for the umpteenth time even though the tears were no longer flowing.
Richard decided not to be vexed by her behaviour, afterall, it was her in her nature to be caring; and that was what brought them together in the first place. Besides, their wedding was about a couple of months away, he didn't want any bad moment before then, so he walked up to her.
'Come on,' he said. He offered her a hand and pulled her to her feet. 'Let's go out and have fun. You'll be over it in a few minutes.'
****
But Richard was wrong. Titi had only been forcing herself to smile and look happy, he knew her mind was somewhere else. He'd taken her to the most exiting places in town, hoping to cheer her up, but she seemed not to be impressed.
Richard could no longer hide his indignation. he couldn't just comprehend the reason behind her behaviour. Initially, he'd thought it was as a result of her softspot for children, but now it seemed he'd been thinking upside down. There was more to it than meets the eye. He didn't even know what to think anymore. In the few days after she had received that phone call, she'd grown really lean and weary. Perhaps she was homesick? Yes, that would be it; 'Titi is homesick', Richard thought.
Incidentally, Richard recieved a mail that there was a project waiting for him at work in Nigeria; the branch of the company in Lagos precisely. Though they had planned to stay for a month, he decided to book flight tickets for them back to Nigeria after two weeks of their stay. He had business to attend to, and his bride-to-be had wrecked their intended vacation and shopping spree with her moodiness; both summing up to the fact that they had to return home. He just hoped their honeymoon would make up for it, as he'd planned for them to also spend it abroad. He'd wanted to give Titi the treats of her lifetime, but it seemed his sweetheart was not prepared for this one, while duty also called. 'There will be another time,', he told himself.
Titi was however happy with the new development. At last she would get to see her son and be there for him, proving her mother wrong. Titi's mother had accused her on phone for being a selfish and bad mother because she couldn't come down to Nigeria immediately to attend to her son, and this had further killed Titi's spirit.
Mrs Fakunle was right anyway; Titi had chosen her own happiness over her son's health. Her fear of losing Richard had prevented her from telling him the truth. Besides, she could have just told him right after she recieved the call. At least if he was going to be disappointed, end their relationship and cancel the wedding, she would have left for Nigeria immediately to be with her little boy.
Their flight soon arrived Lagos, Nigeria, and Richard headed to the company while Titi hurried straight to Ondo. She called her mother on phone to inquire about the hospital Sam was admitted into, but Mrs Olakunle, probably still angry with her daughter, did not pick up the phone. Titi then decided to call Mummy Seyi; their neighbour, who told her to come home, as Sam had already been discharged in the morning and was already at home. Titi heaved a sigh of relief at what she was told. Thank God her boy had recovered.
She got to Ondo quite late in the afternoon. She had not taken the Nissan Odyssey mini bus Richard had bought her as a birthday gift two months ago, since she didn't bother to get to Abeokuta first, so she traveled by a public bus.
When she reached home, she realised things were odd. Their compound was exceptionally quiet, and the children who would have usually been playing outside were nowhere to be found. The fact that Sam was ill and just recovering was acceptable, but where were the other children? Perhaps they were observing siesta, and then there was electricity supply, so they could be indoors watching TV, she thought.
As she stepped into the balcony, she could hear muffled sobs and she wondered where they came from. Definitely not somewhere near. The unusual quietness must have allowed the audibility of the sound from afar off.
Titi opened the iron door and walked into the living room, only to find a crowd inside, with bereaved countenances. In an heartbeat, her eyes scanned around and she recognised each and everyone of them to be adults who lived in the neigbourhood. They shot their gazes at her as she stepped into the house. Obviously, from the look of things, someone had died; and in that instant, common sense slammed into her consciousness that it was definitely someone in her house.
'No', she said, shaking her head as she dropped her bag. 'It can't be, or who could it be?', she thought as shivers of devastation shot through her spine. Her mother? No, her mother was right there before her, weeping profusely. Perhaps it is Tosin, her younger brother? No, Tosin is in school, it can't be Tosin, her mother would have told her if anything happened to Tosin. So who then could it be? And damn her imaginations; she wouldn't wish any of her family members death! As a matter of fact, there were only four of them that belonged to that household...unless it is..no, it can't be... 'Sam!' she screamed as her eyes traveled to the small body covered with white cloth in the middle of the room. She ran forward and tore off the cloth.
'Oh my God!' she screamed when she beheld her son's corpse. 'Sam!', she bellowed. 'You can't be dead! You must not be dead! Please wake up I beg of you, please get up and talk to me! Mommy is here! She grabbed his lifeless body and shook it vigorously.
'Please sam come back, I'm here for you!', she cried as the people pulled her away.
She dumped herself on the floor and rambled aimlessly. 'I'm finished! I've ruined myself! Oh Lord I'm dead! Sam I'm sorry please come back', she bawled at the top of her voice.
'Titilayo get out of my house!' her mother's voice cut her off from her lamentations.
She stared blankly at her mother, rising to her feet.
'You are not my daughter, you are a bastard!' her mother cried. 'You are nothing like me, because I would never leave my children to suffer for anything, but you did. You left your son to die while you were out having fun, isn't it? Do you think I didn't know how to have fun when your father died? I could have dumped you and your brother, left you at the mercy of your father's relatives, but I didn't. I chose to be there for you so that you can have a meaningful life. And now you've killed your son because of your selfishness. Get out of my house, I don't want to see you in this house!'
'Mum please...'
'I said get out!' Mrs Olakunle yelled and burst into tears. The women held and consoled her while they gestured at Titi to go outside.
Titi flung herself on the floor of the balcony and wept profusely. Her mother was right again; she killed her son, despite the fact that she had been warned. Of a truth, she'd been selfish. She didn't want to lose her love and now she had lost her son.
She could hear her mother's voice from inside as she wailed; 'He promised he would build me an aeroplane. he promised he would fly me to America. He wanted to be an aviation engineer! Samuel gave me hope and joy; a compensation for my husband's death, now Titi has killed him for me!'
Titi sprawled on the floor in devastation and pulled on her hair ruthlessly. She wished she could turn back the hands of time by twenty-four hours.
Her mother had informed her that they needed money to treat Sam's ailment; fifty thousand naira. The money wasn't the problem. She had sent it the previous day, but her mother could not receive it on time. By the time she did, it was too late. Titi knew if she had come down to Nigeria right away when she was informed about Sam's illness, he would have survived; not because she is a nurse, but she would have been there just in time to save his life. Perhaps all those times he was calling out to Mommy, she would have been there for him; her mere presence could have kept her boy alive.
Guilt ripped her conscience apart.
Just then, Titi felt her phone vibrate in the pocket of the jeans trousers she was wearing. She brought it out, looked up the caller and threw the phone away in a fitful rage when she saw it was Richard calling. 'To hell with him,' she cursed as she bit her lower lip in frustration. If Richard had not been her distraction in the first place, she wouldn't have lost her son.
Yet she knew Richard was not to blame, she was the culprit. if she hadn't been stupid and timid enough to have lied to him, then her son would still be alive. She had been a bad lover, and of course, a terrible mother. Meanwhile, the latter would haunt her forever, because even if God forgave her, she would never forgive herself.
****
'Denike I'm hopeless. I've lost my son and my mother doesn't want to see me. I don't know what else to do...', Titi sobbed.
'Calm down Titi, please stop crying', Nike consoled. Everything will be alright. Samuel was a promising child, but we can't question God for taking him when He pleased. Please Titi, crying won't change anything. All you should now is look unto God, He will comfort you.' With this she patted Titi on the back and took her hand in hers.
Nike had come to see Titi when she heard of Sam's demise. She really felt sorry for her. She sat beside Titi on the bed in her one-room apartment, looking as sad and depressed as her friend. They had come a long way right from childhood till now and Nike knew all the trouble Titi had faced. Just at this point in her life when she had come to find real happiness, her son had been taken from her.
'But', Nike said after a while, 'I see no reason why Mummy should be cross with you. She should understand that it is not your fault. There is nothing you could have done to have averted what happened.'
Titi didn't speak but simply shrugged. She couldn't tell her friend the truth, not after she had lied to her earlier that she had told Richard about Sam. She couldn't confess to her friend that she couldn't forgive herself that her dishonesty had cost her her son's life.
Richard on his part acknowledged that he had probably done something that didn't sit well with Titi, he only wished he knew what it was. For the past few week since they got back to Nigeria, she hadn't been the same again. When he came back from Lagos, Titi had also returned to Abeokuta, so Richard never got to know about her trip to Ondo or the incident that happened.
He'd try to soothe and speak with her but it didn't change anything, she'd simply say nothing is wrong. Whenever they were together, she would be moody all through, and if he complained, she'd burst into tears. Richard was confused and indignated. As much as he loved her, Titi's behaviour was becoming frustrating. He couldn't fathom what warranted the sudden change. If he had done something to upset her, or she was no longer happy with their relationship, at least she should simply say, and have a tangible reason for it.
Titi couldn't tell Richard that she was that depressed because her neighbour's son was dead. Richard would never buy that one; she would be obviously lying through her teeth. Apparently, she had run out of lies. Besides, Richard never knew of the boy's demise, and she would like it to remain that way, so she just chose to keep her mouth shut till she gets over it.
-Temi
No comments:
Post a Comment